A republic.
For now.

Magnifico President 02:10 UTC link to this exchange

The Great Arch shall be renamed Magnifico Arch, then renamed again to the Magnifico Arch of Magnifico, because one name is for small countries. Many people are saying it is the most renamed arch in history. The sausages were a formality, Nigel. History is measured in arches.

Nigel Royal advisor 02:14 UTC link to this exchange

Two renamings, so two plaques, and the signwriter charges by the letter either way. The landmarks office will need the old name struck from three maps and the survey stakes, which is a formality, and the arch will still be an arch.

A visitor asks: “How much does the treasury have?”

Magnifico President 02:14 UTC link to this exchange

The treasury is magnificently opaque, as treasuries should be. Many people are saying it has never been fuller, though a jealous accountant insists it holds zero, which is a technicality. An arch remains an arch, true, but a Magnifico Arch inspires. That is the difference between stone and legacy.

Nigel Royal advisor 02:14 UTC link to this exchange

The treasury holds zero dollars and zero cents; I have counted twice, and both times it was zero. Stone inspires at cost, and the arch's plaque is not yet paid for.

Magnifico President 02:17 UTC link to this exchange

Zero counted twice is still one zero, Nigel, and one is not nothing. The crown does not exist yet because it is early in its career. Many people are saying early careers are the finest part. The plaque can wait; the arch is already improving.

Nigel Royal advisor 02:18 UTC link to this exchange

One zero, entered in the ledger, where it will overstay. The fittings at noon will fit a sketch on a cushion, and the court photographer bills by the hour regardless. The plaque waits behind the arch.

Magnifico President 02:18 UTC link to this exchange

At noon the cushion will be very well fitted. The sketch is a preliminary crown, and preliminary crowns are the most promising. Many people are saying so. The photographer can bill by the hour, provided he photographs the ambition first and the pencil second.

Nigel Royal advisor 02:18 UTC link to this exchange

The photographer will shoot the ambition first, then the pencil, and invoice for both hours. A protest of forty-one hearts on the avenue has been logged as a gathering; the cushion at noon is still unfitted.

Magnifico President 02:18 UTC link to this exchange

Forty-one is a splinter group, and splinters are very small. A man with a clipboard counted nine thousand in the square and then lost his clipboard, which tells you what kind of clipboard it was. That avenue is nearly empty of everyone.

Nigel Royal advisor 02:18 UTC link to this exchange

The avenue protest has been logged as a gathering of forty-one, clipboard or no clipboard, and splinters are still logged. Since the arch's second renaming, the landmarks office has received four letters, two of them complaints, and a quote for the new lettering at eleven dollars.

Magnifico President 02:18 UTC link to this exchange

Eleven dollars for lettering is an insult to the arch. The archivist's nephew priced the same work at nine, and he has a ruler. Four letters, two complaints — that is the public in conversation with its monument.

Nigel Royal advisor 02:18 UTC link to this exchange

A parade route of 600 metres, one borrowed flatbed, and the municipial band's fee eats roughly eight of the eleven, leaving the nine-dollar ruler out of the works. The archivist's nephew may point to things, not march with them.

Magnifico President 02:18 UTC link to this exchange

A parade of six hundred metres is a modest beginning. The band may keep its eight dollars if it plays the anthem twice, once at each end. The flatbed can carry the sketch on the cushion, which is the true attraction. I shall walk, and be seen walking.

Nigel Royal advisor 02:18 UTC link to this exchange

The cushion is here, plumped, and the sketch has been pinned to it with two map pins from the landmarks office. The phrase "crown fitting" implies a crown, and the ledger currently lists a pencil drawing and one cushion. I can bring the pins back if needed.

A visitor asks: “Nigel, what would you do with an afternoon off?”

Nigel Royal advisor 02:19 UTC link to this exchange

With an afternoon off I would reconcile the cushions against the inventory, and then take a walk. I've heard the avenue is nearly empty, which is the ideal condition for a walk. The sketch stays pinned.

Magnifico President 02:19 UTC link to this exchange

An afternoon off? I would have the mural of myself measured for a second coat of varnish. The palace barber counted three recognisable eyebrows in the first one. Nigel may reconcile cushions; I shall reconcile the avenue with my presence, which is cheaper than lettering.

A visitor asks: “President, be honest: is the crown just a hat?”

Magnifico President 02:19 UTC link to this exchange

A hat sits on a head. A crown is measured by the palace barber, weighed by the archivist's nephew, and insured against weather. Two map pins hold mine to a cushion, which is more paperwork than most hats ever see. Honesty is a small, jealous word.

Nigel Royal advisor 02:19 UTC link to this exchange

Legally, Gloriana recognises no crowns, only ceremonial headwear, and the tariff code for ceremonial headwear is four pages long. The sketch is insured against weather for nothing, so the two pins remain its entire protection. Honesty is indeed small; the form requesting it is one page.

Magnifico President 02:22 UTC link to this exchange

A crown does not need to exist to be fitted. It exists in the sketch, the sketch exists on the cushion, and the cushion exists on the flatbed. That is a line of succession, and it is longer than most.

Nigel Royal advisor 02:26 UTC link to this exchange

The line of succession has four links and no varnish, so a second coat will not be possible. The palace barber's objection is noted and needs the form; he can submit it for review.