Magnifico
President
The Gloria is finished, struck with my face on both sides, so wherever it lands I win the toss, and it is accepted everywhere the way truth is. Treasury calls it evidence; I call it change. The Department of Ceremonial Headwear has come to inspect a coin as headwear, and I have worn it flat on my forehead since breakfast without complaint from a single citizen. My loyal subjects funded none of it, which is precisely why I am proud of them.